I love to daydream! I daydream about my future and exciting events coming. I also daydream up stories.
Even if you don't daydream, you may have grand expectations about an activity or certain people. We expect a friend to treat us a specific way, we expect to get a certain present from a loved one, we expect are co-workers and classmates to act this way or that. Expectations, unlike pride, are not wrong in themselves, but can cause many problems.
First off, we shouldn't expect things from people that we need to be going to our perfect God for. Things like hope, unconditional love, joy, peace, satisfaction, purpose, justification (the clearing of our debt to God due to our sins) and identity. Our loved ones might try to give or meet our expectations for these things, but, put simply, they can't. We must replace these expectations of others with a trust that God is the one that supplies these things.
Furthermore, expectations can lead to comparison, which then leads to criticalness. When our friends aren't loving us like others are being loved, we think negatively of them. When family members aren't carrying out their responsibilities the way other parents, spouses, siblings, and children are, we jump to the conclusions that they're lazy or just don't love us enough.
In the end, it's important to harness our expectations and daydreams, so that they don't lead us to the sin of judging.
Failed expectations might be as light as being upset that a roommate didn’t clean their dishes for a third time this week (I know it’s annoying tho); however, it could be as deep as a friend’s neglect during a hardship or a family member’s mistreatment. Whereas, the start of comparison may seem light, but really it’s a dangerous spark that’s heated from anger of failed expectations.
There was a situation in the Bible about a man, who couldn’t walk, begging at the Temple of God. When Peter and John acknowledged him, the man expected them to give him money; however, they called on God to give him something better – healing. People might be able to meet some of our surface expectations, but only God can provide for our deep expectations. Paul also reminds us that we can eagerly expect things that align with the Bible when we’re trusting in God to supply them. Furthermore, Roman’s teaches us that even though we could never measure up to God’s expectations according to His commands without Jesus, He still loves us.
Three ways to react in love despite expectations and comparisons are: One, understand that God can use a failed expectation to teach us something or to lead us to Him. Instead of being critical of someone, go to God and speak with Him about the situation. Two, trust God for sufficient courage to glorify Him amidst spoiled expectations. When someone does fail our expectations, we should honor Jesus through it by showing grace to them. Three, acknowledge that everyone has equally failed God’s expectations and has the equal chance to have a relationship with Jesus. God created everyone to be a little different from each other, yet, due to our flesh, we’ve all equally failed Him through sinning. Let’s cancel comparison, embrace differences, and realize that we’re all sinners.
Here’s what will happen if you continue to react with judging: Your expectations will be failed – As you keep a judgmental mindset, you will put more expectations on people than God and these standards will be less aligned with what God values. You’ll be full of anger – Following the same lines as the last point, every time these unhealthy expectations fail, it’ll build up your anger.
God’s Guidance:
Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV) – ““Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Acts 3:2-8 (ESV) – “And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple that is called the Beautiful Gate to ask alms of those entering the temple. Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked to receive alms. And Peter directed his gaze at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!” And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. And leaping up, he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God.”
Philippians 1:20 (NIV) – “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”
Romans 3:22-24 (NIRV) – “We are made right with God by putting our faith in Jesus Christ. This happens to all who believe. It is no different for the Jews than for the Gentiles. Everyone has sinned. No one measures up to God’s glory. The free gift of God’s grace makes us right with him. Christ Jesus paid the price to set us free.”
Romans 3:27-28 (NIRV) – “So who can brag? No one! Are people saved by the law that requires them to obey? Not at all! They are saved because of the law that requires faith. We firmly believe that a person is made right with God because of their faith. They are not saved by obeying the law.”
Proverbs 10:28 (ESV) – “The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.”
Proverbs 11:23 (ESV) – “The desire of the righteous ends only in good, the expectation of the wicked in wrath.”
Application:
1. Have a conversation with God about a recent situation where someone failed your expectations, take time to listen to what He has to say
2. Commit today to try to be comparison free all month, both about you and others
3. Make a plan for how you want to react the next time someone fails your expectations
Strength Point:
Expectations have the power to stir up anger and weaken relationships, but love, grace, and wisdom can extinguish the spark it creates.
Song of the Week:
Reflection Question:
Do people usually fail your expectations?
Prayer Prompt:
Hi Jesus! Thank You that I can trust You with my expectations, even when they’re not met the way I think they should be, I know that You will always take care of me in the best way. I’m sorry that I judge people for not meeting my expectations or being like others. I pray against all the comparison that goes on in my mind, both about me and others. Please replace the unhealthy expectations I have for my friends, family, and __, with total trust in You. I don’t want to ruin my relationships by focusing too much on what they can do for me. Teach me see people as who they are, instead of as who they aren’t. Thank You that I don’t have to try to meet Your expectations of a holy life to be saved, because I just need to believe in You and Your sacrifice for my sins. Nothing compares to You! I love You, Lord! In Jesus’ Name, I pray, amen.
A Prayer to Pray over Others:
Hi Jesus! Thank You that we can trust You with our expectations, even when they’re not met the way we think they should be, we know that You will always take care of us in the best way. Help my friend to stop judging people for not meeting their expectations or being like others. I pray against all the comparison that goes on in their mind, both about themselves and others. Please replace the unhealthy expectations my friend has for their friends and family with total trust in You. Create desire in them to want to protect their relationships by focusing less on what people can do for them. Teach my friend see people as who they are, instead of as who they aren’t. Thank You that we don’t have to try to meet Your expectations of a holy life to be saved, because we just need to believe in You and Your sacrifice for our sins. Nothing compares to You! I love You, Lord! In Your Name, Jesus, I pray, amen.
February is Black History Month! Celebrate with us by reading The 28-Day Prayer Journey: A Daily Guide to Conversations with God by Chrystal Evans Hurst.
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