2020 was a very low connection year for me. Some people I thought I was making long-lasting relationships with, either ended up being too busy for me or just seemed to disappear. This situation happened again 2021, connections were lost, and, well, I became bitter. I didn't know if I wanted to try anymore.
This bitterness drained into a big portion of 2022, I had more connections than ever, but I was very hesitant of all of them. I couldn't let my heart be hurt again.
Fall of 2022, I started seeing my amazing Christian counselor. I shared with her my friendship troubles, and she advised me through my wounds.
I now enter 2023 with a core group of God-given friends ranging in location from where I live to California to the Philippines. On top of that, I have my brother, who's my best friend, and the rest of my family that's always been there for me. My counselor's there to help when I need it too. I, also, have my dog, who gives the best hugs and cuddles. I have so many more connections that are so important to me. However, the most vital connection I have, promises to never leave me.
What I've learned from the last few years is that, if the only connection you have is Jesus, you have all you need and He'll provide other connections at the right time.
Whether it’s a character or a real-life teammate, most games make connections essential. Gamers struggle with their in-game interactions comparably to our relationship issues in reality. Should we go it alone then? Nope, we just need to understand our connections.
God wants us to connect. We know this because Jesus calls us to love people, it’s the second greatest command, and it’s hard to love people we have no connection with. God desires us to connect because we can encourage each other toward Jesus. Thus, we must be willing to fight for our relationships. Fight to stay unified in values, fight for peace in the relationship, fight to have love and patience in the way we treat each other. While, trusting that God knows the connections we need when we need them, just like He did with Adam.
Four points to help us understand our connections better are: One, let God’s discernment lead us in how to view our connections. Connections don’t always equal friends, there are people in our lives we’re not meant to be close to. Instead, we need to follow God as He directs us in our interactions and setting boundaries. Two, build relationships that’ll be with us through hard times. We just can’t assume that everyone will be there for us or help us when we need them. This takes choosing a person to build a real relationship with, where they’re making equal effort, and seeing what they value – because this’ll be the driving force in how they’ll help. Three, accept mentoring while being responsible to pour into others. Not only should we seek out mentoring from godly people, God asks us to be a guide for others in how to live for Him. Four, connect with God daily. Staying near to God nourishes us and can bring us more connections.
Here’s how to lose our connections: Speak negatively of others – This can ruin your connections by giving you a bad reputation. Do most of life alone – People get tired of putting in all the effort and being the vulnerable one, reach out. Choose a worldly attitude over a Christ-like attitude – One’s about you, while the other is seeing past yourself and seriously caring about someone else’s life.
God’s Guidance:
Matthew 22:37-40 (NIV) – “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.””
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) – “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV) – “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
Genesis 2:18 (NIV) – “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.””
Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) – “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Proverbs 17:17 (NIV) – “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
Titus 2:3-5 (NIV) – “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
John 15:1-4 (NIV) – ““I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”
Ephesians 4:29-32 (NIV) – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) – “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Philippians 2:3-8 (NIV) – “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!”
Application:
1. Make a list, mental or physical, of the connections you trust to be there for you in the right way in hard times and continue to build these relationships
2. Practice only speaking positively of others, take it month by month
3. Let God know you want Him to have top priority out of all your connections this year
Strength Point:
Teaming up and connecting with others during a mission, will make you stronger and the journey way more fun.
Reflection Question:
Is your life full of connections or have you lost some recently?
Song for the Week:
Prayer Prompt:
Hi Jesus! Thank You for all the relationship connections You’ve given me so far in my life. Be glorified in the way I treat the people around me. I’m sorry for acting like I know better than You with how I should handle my relationships – holding on to the ones You want me to let go, guarding myself from those You want me to open up to, and feeling __ towards the connections that __. I pray that You would infuse my view of my relationships with Your wisdom and __. Teach me to be grateful for each one and to realize that each of them have a unique purpose in my life. Help me to never take advantage of the connections You have blessed me with, but to recognize the healthiness of boundaries for both sides. Warn and advise me with how to treat the people in my life who are toxic and hurtful to my relationship with You. Lord, bring me whatever new connections You want me to have this year and move away the connections You need me to break ties with, I surrender them all to You! Thank You for desiring a connection with me. You are the one, true life-giving connection I will ever need! I love You, God! In Jesus’ Name, I pray, amen.
A Prayer to Pray over Others:
Hi Jesus! Thank You for all the relationship connections You’ve given us so far in our lives. Be glorified in the way we treat the people around us. Help my friend to not act like they know better than You with how to handle their relationships. Guide them to not hold on to the ones You want them to let go, guard themselves from those You want them to open up to, or feel bitter towards the connections that You want them to forgive. I pray that You would infuse my friend’s view of their relationships with Your wisdom and discernment. Teach them to be grateful for each one and to realize that each of them have a unique purpose in their life. Help my friend to never take advantage of the connections You have blessed them with, but to recognize the healthiness of boundaries for both sides. Warn and advise them with how to treat the people in their life who are toxic and hurtful to their (having a) relationship with You. Lord, bring my friend whatever new connections You want them to have this year and move away the connections You need them to break ties with, I pray that they would be willing to surrender all their relationships to You! Thank You for desiring a connection with us. You are the one, true life-giving connection we could ever need! I love You, God! In Your Name, Jesus, I pray, amen.
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